Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
