I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
