Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
