hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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