You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
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