Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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