My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
