I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
