There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
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