Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
