the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
