He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
