I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
