Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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