After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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