He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Its about making memories worth repressing
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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