i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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