all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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