Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
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I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
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Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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