Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Randomize
