My brain says no but my pants say off.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.