shes about as inviting as chlamydia
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
