I'm lost and stupid without you.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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