She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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