this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
