hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
