I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
