Your dad touched me again.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
