In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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