no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
