Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
