girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize