He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I looked at my own cervix.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
