why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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