the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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