Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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