I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
