i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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