I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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