Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
