how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
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