Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
