Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
