If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize