How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
