I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
