My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
So much Jack, so little girl.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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