My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
