thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
