we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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