Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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