Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
