I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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