if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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