Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(540): View more from Virginia

I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.

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(540): I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down. http://tfl.nu/t10x

Replies (12) Good night (2858) Bad night (693)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.

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(703): Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time. http://tfl.nu/wm5x

Replies (12) Good night (640) Bad night (3884)
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(904): View more from Florida

youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb

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(904): youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb http://tfl.nu/7q2n

Replies (26) Good night (844) Bad night (5414)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.

(347): View more from New York

Something to remember me by.

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(832): I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet. (347): Something to remember me by. http://tfl.nu/ual5

Replies (6) Good night (2632) Bad night (1975)
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(516): View more from New York

the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY

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(516): the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY http://tfl.nu/b20j

Replies (14) Good night (6883) Bad night (1313)
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(817): View more from Texas

she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.

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(817): she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it. http://tfl.nu/rt8c

Replies (10) Good night (3948) Bad night (1026)
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(817): View more from Texas

Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"

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(817): Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside" http://tfl.nu/md9m

Replies (12) Good night (6547) Bad night (1188)
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(312): View more from Illinois

I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".

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(312): I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards". http://tfl.nu/xpqo

Replies (6) Good night (2315) Bad night (1025)
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(913): View more from Kansas

He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.

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(913): He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman. http://tfl.nu/kv33

Replies (7) Good night (818) Bad night (1617)
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(314): View more from Missouri

he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.

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(314): he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it. http://tfl.nu/ukah

Replies (3) Good night (1485) Bad night (631)
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(949): View more from California

Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.

(949): View more from California

I felt like a god.

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(949): Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list. (949): I felt like a god. http://tfl.nu/u6fp

Replies (7) Good night (1185) Bad night (487)
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(765): View more from Indiana

This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it

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(765): This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it http://tfl.nu/dka3

Replies (7) Good night (582) Bad night (988)
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(817): View more from Texas

I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.

(512): View more from Texas

Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.

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(817): I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night. (512): Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there. http://tfl.nu/r01e

Replies (4) Good night (2082) Bad night (481)
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(917): View more from New York City

Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days

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(917): Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days http://tfl.nu/z3dv

Replies (2) Good night (477) Bad night (352)
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(513): View more from Ohio

I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that

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(513): I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that http://tfl.nu/zzq0

Replies (8) Good night (1571) Bad night (329)

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