Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u

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  (734): I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u http://tfl.nu/md4z
  Replies (11) Good night (7183) Bad night (1481)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.

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  (609): You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics. http://tfl.nu/ug0s
  Replies (6) Good night (1137) Bad night (3472)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.

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  (417): Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road. http://tfl.nu/ry0e
  Replies (7) Good night (3145) Bad night (1161)
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  (914): View more from New York

  There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do

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  (914): There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do http://tfl.nu/metj
  Replies (8) Good night (2088) Bad night (1076)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.

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  (203): Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor. http://tfl.nu/o6bb
  Replies (54) Good night (1871) Bad night (5494)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on

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  (713): Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on http://tfl.nu/6fw7
  Replies (5) Good night (2621) Bad night (1492)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.

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  (440): Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies. http://tfl.nu/iuff
  Replies (14) Good night (2330) Bad night (1836)
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  (518): View more from New York

  He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.

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  (518): He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary. http://tfl.nu/x9c1
  Replies (10) Good night (1512) Bad night (751)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.

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  (941): You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard. http://tfl.nu/vxrl
  Replies (6) Good night (683) Bad night (1266)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now

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  (907): You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now http://tfl.nu/vnkw
  Replies (7) Good night (1187) Bad night (513)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.

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  (515): Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself. http://tfl.nu/ezc4
  Replies (9) Good night (1407) Bad night (422)
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  (209): View more from California

  I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.

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  (209): I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here. http://tfl.nu/o4b3
  Replies (5) Good night (1024) Bad night (347)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.

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  (480): I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it. http://tfl.nu/0k0k
  Replies (8) Good night (951) Bad night (284)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.

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  (636): I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic. http://tfl.nu/a1yu
  Replies (1) Good night (825) Bad night (229)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."

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  (586): I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone." http://tfl.nu/272w
  Replies (2) Good night (460) Bad night (298)

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