there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
