Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.