I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
