If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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