well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I have already put on my inside pants.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
