I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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