I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize