Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
