I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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