Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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