so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
