Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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