If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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