I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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