take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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