Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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