The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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