You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
