You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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